When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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