Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
