On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
