I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
