You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
