theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
