It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My liver just had a heart attack.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
