I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
