We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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