is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize