weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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