let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Randomize
