My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
