I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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