Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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