I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
