I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
