I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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