4 words: hood of his car
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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