I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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