i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize