before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
