I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize