She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
