Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My breasts were aching with rage.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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