it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Your cock deserves a montage
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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