u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
