i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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