He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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