Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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