They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize