Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
