just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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