awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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