OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
