I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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