Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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