Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
