i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
