tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
