Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
