Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
false alarm. still invincible.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
