In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
