I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
