Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
