I want to stick my p in your. b.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Alive.
So much puke
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
