Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
