cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
