She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize