We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
