She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
