Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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