we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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