hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Shame - the story of my life.
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