are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
