do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
