I'm lost and stupid without you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My life is pants optional.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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