I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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