be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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