And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
