I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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