The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
