and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
