I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
