She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
