I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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