He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
