During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
