girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
