I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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