he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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