So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
