North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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