I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
