Define "chronic" masturbator.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
