your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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