where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I love you. Go after that dick
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
