its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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